Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Women and Money Books

5:56 PM by Lilian ·
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Recommended eBooks for Health, Relationship, Parenting, Cooking, and Beauty tips


Moist Cake Recipes For New Year's Eve

3:33 PM by Lilian · 0 comments
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Actually after posting this, i would be heading to my kitchen to make my favorite cake...chocolate moist cake....oh yummy and so soft. Do you wanna know what is the secret to a "moist cake"? Its simple...mayonnaise! Just add 1/4 cup of mayonnaise to the regular ingredients and mixed up into the batter before baking. Mayonnaise contains oil (always a necessary item in baking a moist cake), egg whites (known for giving cakes a fluffy lift) and vinegar (a natural preservative). I only knew this secret a while ago while browsing some moist cake recipe and i would love to try it today! You too wanna try?

Here are some collection of moist cake recipe, feel free to chose which flavor you like most:


2 c. flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. vanilla
3/4 c. cocoa
1 c. oil
1 c. hot coffee
1 c. milk
2 eggs


1 pkg. cream cheese
1 tbsp. milk
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar

Combine all ingredients except black hot coffee. Mix. Add hot coffee. Batter will be thin. Pour into 9x13 pan. Bake 30 minutes at 375 degrees.When cooled, combine cream cheese, milk and powdered sugar. Frost then serve.


2 c. sugar
2 c. all-purpose flour
2 c. brewed coffee (cooled)
1 c. cocoa
1 c. mayonnaise
2 tsp. baking soda
2 eggs

Mix all ingredients together and pour in a 9x13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees. This makes a real dark chocolate cake. It is very moist and good especially if you like the taste of coffee.


1 1/2 c. sugar
2 c. flour
1 c. salad dressing or mayonnaise
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. cocoa
1 c. water
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking soda

Sift flour, sugar, cocoa, and salt together in a large mixing bowl. Blend in mayonnaise, water, and vanilla until well blended. Bake in two greased 9 inch layer pans at 350 degrees for 25 minutes until done. Cool slightly before removing to wire racks. 1/2 c. vegetable shortening or butter 2 egg whites 2 tsp. vanilla 1/4 tsp. salt

Cream together 1/2 of the sugar with the shortening. Add stiffly beaten egg whites, salt, and remainder of sugar. Add vanilla; beat until smooth.


Monday, December 29, 2008

Happy Moo Year!

2:33 PM by Lilian · 0 comments
As we welcome Year 2009, you might want to know what 2009 could hold for you. This is based on the reading of Master Yu Yang from Taiwan. Happy New Year!!!

Born in the Year of the Pig - 1911, 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995

Pig are tremendous fortitude and great honesty. They don't make many friends but they make them for life, and are extremely loyal. They are quick tempered, yet they hate arguments and quarreling.

2009 You may travel a lot on wok this year, but its unlikely that you will be rewarded financially. Single pigs may meet someone special and if you are already in a relationship, this is a good year to get married.

Born in the Year of the Rat - 1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996

Rats are noted for their calm and attraction for the opposite sex. They work hard to achieve their goals, acquire possessions and are likely to be perfectionists. Rats are easily angered, have big ambitions and are usually very successful.

2009 Overall a good year for the Rat in terms of career and love aspect and you will experience good returns for your investments this year. Single Rats may meet someone special, but it will be a difficult relationship.

Born in the Year of the Ox - 1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 2009

Those born in the year of the Ox have fierce temper and although they speak little, when they do, they are quite eloquent. They are mentally and physically alert and although easy going, can be remarkably stubborn.

2009 Spend time wisely and plan your expenses well in advance. At work, maintain a low profile and be humble about achievement. Strengthen ties with family members and partners to avoid conflict. If you are already experiencing a health problem get it checked soon - don't wait.

Born in the Year of the Tiger - 1914, 1926, 1938, 19 50, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998

Although tigers are sensitive and capable of great sympathy, they can be extremely short-tempered. Courageous and powerful, people have great respect for them, but they are often suspicious of others.

2009 Money matters aren't looking good, so be humble a work and success will be yours. Spend wisely during the first six months and the est of the year will see comfortably through. If you have a stable partner, you could tie a knot this year.

Born in the Year of the Rabbit - 1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1999

Articulate, talented and ambitious, Rabbit are virtuous and have excellent taste. They are admired, trusted and are often financially lucky. They make good business people and never back out of a contract.

2009 A great year for the Rabbit! There are advancement at work and in your love life. If you are single, you could meet the right person this year. There are some health concerns surrounding the family, so take care.

Born in the Year of the Dragon - 1916, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000

Dragons are healthy, energetic, excitable, short-tempered and stubborn. They are also honest sensitive, brave, and they inspire confidence and trust. Because dragons are soft-hearted, others are taking advantage of them.

2009 There are lot of support from work, so problems will be easily overcome. Your hard work will pay off and opportunities will come your way. Don't let rumours or nasty remarks affects your performance. Also avoid gambling this year.

Born in the Year of the Snake - 1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001

Those born in the year of the snake says little and posses great wisdom. They are financially fortunate and although vain, selfish, and a tad b it stingy, they have tremendous sympathy of others and try to help those who are less fortunate.

2009 Money and career prospect will improve this year, so invest wisely and multiply your wealth. In love you need to communicate more. Single snakes could meet that special someone this year.

Born in the Year of the Horse - 1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990

Popular, cheerful and skillful with money and perceptive, Horse can sometimes talk too much. They are wise, talented and good with their hands, but are also impatient and hot-blooded about everything except their daily work. Horse are independent and rarely listen to advice.

2009 This could be a year filled with mistakes, but that's nothing to worry about as you have good network.You could also meet someone special but the relationship will not last. Control your money and don't spend impulsively.

Born in the Year of the Goat - 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003

Rams are shy, pessimistic, and puzzled about life, and are usually deeply religious yet timid by nature. They never have to worry about having the best in life or tier abilities make money for them, and they are able to enjoy the comforts that they like.

2009 Maintain a low profile at work and don't be too hasty to leave your job or move houses just yet. Money matters don't look good, so avoid gambling o lending money.

Born in the Year of the Monkey - 1920, 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004

Clever, skillful and flexible, Monkeys are remarkably inventive and original and can solve difficult problems with ease. There are few fields in which monkeys wouldn't be successful in but they have a disconcerting habit of being too agreeable. Although good at making decisions, they tend to look down on others.

2009 Very good year for monkey. A promotion at work is possible, and if you are married, you can expect a new family member. If you are a male monkey, take rest and avoid stress.

Born in the Year of the Rooster - 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005

Loyal and trustworthy, people born in the year of t he rooster are sociable, very accomplished and usually well-dressed. Shrewed and daring, they are outspoken and boastful by nature and they always think they are right...and very often they are!

2009 You may experience some health problems this year, although work and money matters are not affected. There's a possibility of a promotion at work and love issues are also looking good.

Born in the Year of the Dog - 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006

Loyal, faithful and true, Dogs make the best friends and often inspire confidence in others. They are also always willing to help those i need. They make good listeners and are usually good companions for the more demonstrative o gregarious personalities of the zodiac.

2009 Remain hardworking and here will be plenty of opportunities for success in gaining wealth. Avoid gambling and be wary of a third party interfering your relationship. If you are single you will meet someone, but he or she will not be the right person for you.


Monday, December 22, 2008

Do You Love Lasagna?

3:55 PM by Lilian · 3 comments
Lasagna is made of pasta layered with a sauce, cheese, vegetables, and usually some type of meat. It's a perfect make-ahead recipe and can easily feed a crowd. Lasagna also freezes very well, so when you're making a recipe, double it!

It's almost impossible to ruin lasagna. The noodles are now no-boil, so you can just layer the food and bake it. Pasta sauces come in all flavors, and cheeses are pre-grated and so easy to use.

Lasagna doesn't have to be made in a casserole; recipes for skillet lasagna provide the same flavors and textures with less work. And you can even make lasagna in the crockpot! So it's up to you; a layered dish you can make ahead, a lasagna that cooks all day, or a skillet creation that's last minute. Let's cook! Hmmmmm so yummy and its perfect for holiday to prepare!

Chicken Lasagna

Prep Time: 26 minutes
Cook Time: 45 minutes


1 tablespoon olive oil
1 onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 (8-ounce) package sliced mushrooms
1 red bell pepper, chopped
3 cups cubed, cooked chicken
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, cubed
1 (16-ounce) jar Alfredo sauce
1/2 cup milk12 no-boil lasagna noodles
1 cup shredded Havarti cheese
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 13" x 9" glass baking dish with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.

In large skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add onion and garlic; cook and stir until crisp-tender, about 5 minutes. Add mushrooms and red bell pepper; cook and stir for 4 minutes longer. Add chicken and remove from heat.

In medium saucepan, combine cream cheese, Alfredo sauce, and milk. Cook and stir over low heat until cheese melts and sauce is smooth. Stir into chicken mixture.

Meanwhile, soak the no-boil noodles in cold water for 10 minutes. Drain, but do not pat dry. In small bowl, combine Havarti and mozzarella cheeses.

Place 1/2 cup of the chicken sauce in the bottom of prepared baking dish. Top with one-third of noodles, one-third of the chicken mixture, then one-third of the mixed cheeses. Repeat layers, ending with cheeses. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

At this point you can cover the casserole and refrigerate for up to 24 hours.

Bake for 45-55 minutes or until casserole is bubbly and cheeses are melted and starting to brown. If refrigerated, add another 10-15 minutes to baking time. Serves 10

Easy Lasagna

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 45 minutes

1 lb. Italian sausage
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
1-1/2 cups ricotta cheese
28-oz. jar chunky pasta sauce with vegetables
9 no-boil lasagna noodles

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cook Italian sausage in a heavy skillet over medium heat, stirring to break up meat, until no longer pink, about 8 minutes. Drain well. Mix cooked sausage, 1-1/2 cups mozzarella cheese and ricotta cheese in medium bowl.

Place about 1/2 cup spaghetti sauce in 9" square baking dish. Top with three lasagna noodles, then with 1/3 of sausage filling. Repeat layers, ending with spaghetti sauce. Cover with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes until hot and bubbly. Sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese and return to oven. Bake 5-10 minutes longer until cheese is melted and browned. 6 servings

You can add 1 cup frozen spinach, thawed and drained, to the sausage mixture if you like - this adds nutrition and color, but of course that makes six ingredients!

Cheesy Skillet Lasagna

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes

1 lb. lean ground beef
1 onion, chopped2 cloves garlic, minced
3 cups uncooked mafalda (mini lasagna noodles)
28 oz. jar spaghetti sauce
1-1/2 cups water
1 cup small curd cottage cheese
8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese2
Tbsp. chopped fresh parsley
1/2 tsp. dried basil leaves
1/4 tsp. dried oregano leaves
1/2 cup grated Parmean cheese
1 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese

In heavy skillet, brown ground beef with onions and garlic. Drain thoroughly. Add uncooked noodles, spaghetti sauce and water to meat in skillet. Mix well and bring to a boil, then cover skillet, reduce heat and cook 15-17 minutes until noodles are tender, stirring frequently.

Meanwhile, combine cottage cheese, cream cheese, Parmesan cheese, parsley, basil, and oregano in a small bowl until blended.

Spoon the cottage cheese mixture evenly over cooked mixture in skillet. Sprinkle with mozzarella cheese. Cover and cook 5 to 7 minutes until cheese is melted and mixture is hot. Remove from heat and uncover. Let stand 5 minutes before serving. 6 servings


Friday, December 19, 2008

Crisp Peking Duck

3:32 PM by Lilian · 0 comments
Are you craving for Duck? Here's a simplified version of the famous Peking Duck to try out this Christmas holiday and New Year. This is a version of Kylie Kwong, TV host of Discovery Travel and Living.

I remember when we were having a deliberation on our Provincial Development Plan at Manila, Philippines with former Governor P.T. Murillo, Jr. We had lunch at the chinese restaurant in front of SM Mega Mall and ordered Peking Duck. That was my first time eating a Duck! but i tell you the taste was fantastic - crispy, a little bit of sweetness. You eat the crispy skin with a salad leaf and put some gavy on it. The bone they made soup and they made another dish for the meat which you will eat with a special homemade wholemeal bread. If i have a chance to go back to that restaurant i will still order the same.

Duck are famous with chinese people and they said Peking Duck is a Prosperous Dish for 2009.


1 medium-sized whole duck
3 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 1/2 tsp hoi sin sauce
1/4 tsp five spice powder
4 liters boiling water
1 tsp corn syrup (or cooked corn starch)
1 tsp maltose (or honey)
1 tsp white vinegar

  • wash the duck removing all the innards and hang to dry for about 15 minutes
  • marinate by rubbing salt, pepper, hoi sin sauce and five spice powder inside the duck. Place it in the refrigerator for 4 to 6 hours
  • hold duck upright and pour hot boiling water onto its body until it puffs slightly
  • in a bowl, mix corn syrup, maltose and vinegar. Brush the duck with a thin layer of this mixture and hang it in a dry area (with the fan on) for 4 to 5 hours.
  • preheat oven to 200C and roast the duck for 40 min.
  • leave it to rest for 10 min. before caring out slices to serve.
Serves 6


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Yummy Recipe for Christmas

6:10 PM by Lilian · 0 comments
Consider these recipe for your Christmas preparation - its simple and affordable ingredients and its so yummy am sure family and guests will love them.

Creamy Nut Fudge

2 x 100g packet white marshmallows

60g butter

1 tbsp water

125g cooking chocolate, chopped

1 tsp vanilla essence

1 cup chopped pecan nuts

  • Grease an 8 x 26 cm pan. Line base and two opposite sides with baking paper, extending paper 5 cm above edges.
  • Combine marshmallows, butter and water in a medium pan. Stir over a low fire until marshmallows are melted.
  • Remove from heat. Stir in chocolate and essence. Beat with a wooden spoon for about 1 min. Add nuts, beat until combined. Spread mixture into prepared pan. Cover, refrigerate for about 4 hours. Cut into squares.

Makes about 16


For a really nutty crunch, try a variety of nuts – almonds, walnuts and hazelnuts.

Mango Kiwi Fruit Sundae

3 medium kiwi fruit

2 medium mangos

1 tbsp icing sugar

1 tbsp orange juice

½ cup or 60g almond flour (available from bakery stores)

4 cups vanilla ice cream

2 tbsp flaked almonds, toasted

  • Reserve 1 kiwi fruit and 1 mango, chop to use for final garnish. Chop remaining fruit coarsely, then process kiwi, mangoes, icing sugar and juice until smooth.
  • Transfer to a jug, cover and refrigerate until cold.
  • Add almond flour to a heated dry pan. Cook, stirring constantly for 5 minutes of until lightly browned.
  • Layer ice-cream, fruit puree and almond flour in a 375 ml sundae glasses. Top with chopped fruit and flaked almonds.

Serves 4


If you can’t find almond flour, just process until fine 50g

chopped skinless almonds. It will taste just as delicious!

Choc-Hazelnut Mud Cake ---------------------- Light Fruit Cake

Light Fruit Cake

350g packet sultana butter cake mix (available at supermarkets

1 egg

60g butter at room temperature

2/3 cup water

1/3 cup coarsely chopped red glazed cherries (available at supermarkets)

1/3 cup coarsely chopped dried apricots (available at supermarkets)

  • Grease a 14 x 21 cm loaf pan, line base and two long sides with baking paper. Preheat oven at 180 degrees centigrade.

  • Combine cake mix, egg, butter and water in a small bowl with a blender. Stir in cherries and apricots. Spread mixture into prepared pan.
  • Bake in preheated oven for 50 mins. Or until cooked when tested. Stand in pan for 5 min., turn onto a wire rack to cool. Serve fruit cake cut into thick slices.

Serves 5


This can be made up to four days ahead; store in an airtight container

Choc-Hazelnut Mud Cake

250g butter, chopped

1 x 200g block dark chocolate, chopped

2 cups caster sugar

1 cup hot water

1 ½ cups plain flour

¼ cup self-raising flour

¼ cup cocoa powder

2 eggs, beaten lightly

1 cup coarsely chopped roasted hazelnuts

Extra chopped roasted hazelnuts and chocolate curls to decorate


1 x 200g block dark chocolate, chopped

½ cup thickened cream

  • Grease a deep, 20cm round cake pan, line base and side with baking paper. Preheat oven at 160C
  • Combine butter, chocolate, sugar and water in a pan. Stir over low fire until chocolate melts. Remove, cool for 20 min. Whisk in sifted flours and coca, then eggs. Stir in hazelnuts. Pout into prepared pan.
  • Bake for about 2 hours. Cool cake in pan. Meanwhile prepare ganache: Melt chocolate and cream in a pan over low fire. Remove from fire, cool at room temperature until the mixture is of spreadable consistency
  • Spread ganache over cake top. Decorate with extra nuts and chocolate curls.

Serve 5


Monday, December 15, 2008

Yummy Christmas

2:04 PM by Lilian · 2 comments
Count down : 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 boommm!!! boommm!!! boommm!!! Merry Christmas! Am sure most of you are planning already what to bake and serve on Christmas Eve. Alright! I have listed few yummy recipes for you to consider. Without sweets the table is incomplete, am i right? So here we go:


Yield: 48 to 60 squares.

200 g. of dried sultanas and 200 g. of walnuts
1-1/4 c. of butter, softened to room temperature
5 c. of lightly (not loosely) packed dark brown sugar
3-3/4 c. + 1 tbsp. of all-purpose flour
5 tsps. of baking powder
2-1/2 tsps. of salt
5 eggs
2-1/2 tsps. of vanilla essence

Preheat the oven to 350oF.

Place the sultanas on a chopping board and sprinkle with one tablespoonful of flour (the flour prevents the sticky sultanas from sticking together, and to the knife, during chopping). Chop coarsely (depends on your preferences). Transfer the chopped sultanas to a bowl and set aside.

Chop the walnuts to roughly the same size as the chopped sultanas. Add to the sultanas in the bowl.

In a mixing bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder and salt.

In a large mixing bowl, beat the butter and sugar until smooth. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Stir in the vanilla essence. Add the flour in batches, mixing with a wooden spoon. The batter will be very heavy. Finally, stir in the sultanas and walnuts.

Cover the bottom and sides of a 12-1/2 x 17-1/2 x 1 jelly roll pan with non-stick baking paper. Allowing overhangs on the long sides is useful so that you slide off the baked food for the gods on a cooling rack in one piece.

Pour the batter into the pan scraping the sides and bottom of the mixing bowl to make sure you get all of the batter into the pan. Level off with a spatula. Bake in a preheated 350oF oven for 30 to 35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted at the center comes out clean. DO NOT OVERBAKE. Watch the last few minutes closely so that just as soon as it’s sufficiently baked, you can turn off the oven at once and take out the pan.

Then, cool in the pan for 10 minutes to firm it up a bit. Holding one end of the baking paper overhang with one hand and holding the pan at a 45o angle with the other, pull out the baked food for the gods and slide onto a cooling rack. Cool for another 15 minutes or so. While still a bit warm, cut into 1-1/2 or 2-inch squares. Cool completely. Place on festive colored paper cups or wrap in colored Japanese paper.



2 cups self rising flour
1 egg
1 cup sugar
1 stick butter
1 cup milk
1 tea. vanilla
2 cups berries (Huckleberry or blueberry)

Cream eggs, butter and sugar. Add flour, milk and vanilla. Sprinkle flour on berries to prevent them from going to the bottom. Add berries. Bake at 350
for 40 minutes.


1 c Wild apples, peeled & grated
2 c Yellow cornmeal
1 T Cold water
2 Eggs, beaten
2 c Buttermilk
1/4 c Granulated sugar
1 ts Baking soda
2 T Margarine, melted
1/2 ts Salt

Mix together in top of double boiler the cornmeal, sugar, salt, milk and margarine. Set over hot water and cook for 10 minutes. Cool. Add eggs, soda (dissolved in water), and apples. Pour into greased baking dish and bake in preheated oven at 400 degrees for 30 minutes. Serve with wild honey.


1/2 cup shortening
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 3/4 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup chopped nuts
1 cup carnation milk

Mix thoroughly shortening, sugar and eggs. Stir in milk and vanilla. Mix in salt, flour and soda. Blend in nuts. Chill one hour. Bake on greased sheet 10 minutes at 375 degrees.

Contributed by: Night Walker -


Friday, December 5, 2008

Eating Together

2:42 PM by Lilian · 0 comments

Family mealtimes play an important role in bringing a family together but it rarely takes place anymore. Here's why you should incorporate it again in your family.

By Assoc Prof Dr Norimah A. Karim, Nutritionist

Sitting down for a family dinner means more than just time spent on good nutrition; it can also provide real quality time for the entire family. What it brings about is a happy family as well as better eating habits for your young ones.

However, despite the obvious importance of family mealtimes, more and more families find themselves pressed for time to do this important ritual, especially working parents. In addition, we may unintentionally forget to teach our child the proper way of eating, focusing too much instead on the right things to eat. It is only during these eating together times that you can teach your child all about healthy eating as well as appropriate table manners.

Bringing The Family Together

Want to begin incorporating this routine in your family? Then, take note of these pointers:

Set the right example

The important thing to remember is that your child models your behaviour. If you rush through mealtimes, or are picky or do not care about what goes on the dinner table, your child is likely to mimic your behaviour.

• Send the right message

Adopting a healthy attitude towards food will instill good eating habits in your child. Don’t constantly announce that you are on a diet and refuse to eat; this is not how you want your child to turn out to be when he or she grows older.

• Teach your child

Eat and serve sensible portion sizes to give your child a good idea on what’s proper eating. Keep a positive attitude will perceive it as something important and necessary in his or her life.

• Remove all distractions

To make sure you benefit from this time together, keep it dynamic and fun. Turn off the television and even your mobile phone if possible.

• Get your child involved

Have your child help you prepare the meal, set the table, serve the dishes, and clear the table later. This way, your child will feel the ownership in the outcome of the meal, and feel proud with his or her involvement.

Why Eating Together is a Good Idea

Better Nutrition

Children who have more family mealtimes are more likely to pick fresh fruits as a snack as well as other important nutrients from vegetables, grains and calcium-rich foods.

Fewer Misbehaviours
Teens who spent more time eating with their families show lower rates of engaging in vices.

Instill Good Family Vibes
Mealtimes are often rushed through because of deadlines, meetings and more. This way, your child won’t enjoy family mealtimes at all. During family mealtimes, make sure the entire family sits together to eat to reap the most out of the situation.

A Great Time Together
Keep conversations light-hearted during family mealtimes and you are guaranteed a good time always.

In a Harvard study published in the Archives of lescent Medicintake as well. They are also at a lower risk for unhealthy weight control practices and substance abuse. On top of that, families that eat together almost on a daily basis consume higher amounts of important nutrients such as calcium, fibre, iron, vitamins B6 and B12, C and E, while consuming less overall fat, maintaining a healthy lifestyle.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Time With The Family

4:28 PM by Lilian · 1 comments

Research has shown that family quality time often contributes to a child’s positive upbringing. However, with our busy schedules, this is something that is lacking in today’s families. Create family quality time again to help build a happy home.

A study published by the Canadian Social Trends showed that workers spent an average of 45 minutes less per day with family members in 2005 than they did 20 years ago. What this translates into is that the more time you spend at work, the less time you have with your family.
Spending time with the family is important but this is something many of us forget as we are too busy wrapped up in our work, career, personal life and more. So often, we focus too much on the big things rather than the other more important little things in our lives. Before you know it, it could already be too late to do anything about this.

Remember this – time flies! You may think you can put off spending time with your child to another day but by then, your child would have already grown up and you are left wondering what happened to the little girl/boy who looked up to you so much.

Quality Time & Quantity Time

There is a huge difference between quality time and quantity time. If you are spending time “lecturing” your child, you can be sure it won’t be an enjoyable time for him or her. However, if it is time spent doing the things your child enjoys, then even if it is just 15 minutes of it, it will be time that your child appreciates.

Know the meaning of quality time, which translates into communicating with your child in an upbeat and useful manner. Watching TV in silence does not count as quality time. Bonding while watching TV is what makes the difference.

The more family time you spend together, the more close-knit a family becomes. This will result in reducing stress in the household as well as less arguments with each other.

Create These Quality Time

Here are some ways to start incorporating family time in your life:

• Rethink your life

Think of what you would rather have - a happy family or one that is constantly bickering with one another while you hide in the office? Set your priorities straight and start rethinking your life and how you can make the changes to include more family time.

• Give your child the attention he or she deserves

Give your child the attention and interest he or she yearns for. Be positive about your child and be generous with your praises. Let your child help around the household and make sure you praise hard work and effort.

• Learn to make time

Be spontaneous in your life; the last thing you want is for your child to feel as if a scheduled appointment is needed to have your attention! Don’t sweat the small stuff (unwashed dishes, dirty laundry, management presentations, etc) and instead, think of the little but important things such as going to the park with your child, celebrating a birthday, or even singing a song before your child goes to sleep.

• Talk, don’t nag

Don’t spend whatever little time you have with your child nagging. Instead, learn to talk to your child as you would another adult and you could be pleasantly surprised at the reaction you may receive.

Take the effort to find out what is going on in your child’s life – younger children can talk about their friends or school while older children can focus on what’s occurring outside the home or neighbourhood. If possible, ask for opinions. This will make your child feel appreciated, which is exactly the effect you desire.

By Dr Anjli Doshi-Gandhi, Deputy Director-General (Policy),
National Population and Family Development Board Malaysia

Monday, December 1, 2008

Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy?

5:06 PM by Lilian · 0 comments
Megan asked the following questions in one of our phone sessions: "Over and over, when I'm really attracted to a man and I sleep with him fairly early in the relationship, I discover that he is not good husband material. What am I doing wrong? Am I just attracted to the wrong kind of men?"

This is a frequent question from my single women clients.

"Megan, many men know how to project sexual energy in a way that arouses women. These men define their worth by their sexuality and by their ability to attract woman. They know just how to sexually ignite a woman - it's an energy that they are putting out that goes right into your genitals and makes you think that something real and important is happening. But they are operating from a sexual addiction rather than from caring or intimacy."

"So what should I be doing when I feel that powerful sexual attraction?"

"You need to be telling yourself that this feeling doesn't mean anything � that it's just an energy that is being projected onto you but has nothing to do with love, intimacy, caring, or marriage. Real, long-lasting relationships take time to evolve. If you feel sexual upon first meeting someone, there is a good possibility that this man just wants a sexual encounter with you rather than a real relationship with you. My suggestion to you is to not have sex early in a relationship, even if you are very attracted."

"Well, when do you have sex?"

"When you feel emotionally intimate. When you trust each other and really care about each other's wellbeing. When you know that the feelings are not just sexual, and that the sexuality is coming from the emotional intimacy rather than from a sexual addiction. Why not wait until there is a commitment to the relationship and to learning and growing with each other? How often have you slept with a man that you were really attracted to and then had the relationship not work out?"

"More often than I'm willing to admit. This is what keeps happening. So are you saying that I should also go out with men that I'm not immediately attracted to?"

"Yes, if you like them. Often, sexual attraction grows as you really get to know a person. Many of my clients with the best relationships are people who were not immediately attracted to each other. The attraction grew as they fell in love with each other. Others, who were attracted immediately, lost their attraction as they got to know the person.

"Many men can have sex and then just move on without any inner turmoil. Yet many women feel connected to a man when they have sex with him and then feel awful when the relationship doesn't work out. It is unloving to yourself to sleep with a man early in the relationship and then run the risk of being dumped because all he wanted was sex.

"Another factor is that sex without emotional intimacy is often disappointing for both people. When you have sex too early in a relationship, it might not be emotionally or physically satisfying. When sex is not an expression of love, it often feels empty, and then the guy might decide that you are not the right person for him because there were no fireworks. Yet if you had waited for love to develop, it might have been wonderful. You really have nothing to lose by waiting."

"But," replied Megan, "I always think that a man won't like me if I don't have sex with him."

"Well, if you doesn't like you for not having sex with him, what does this tell you about him?"

"I guess it tells me that he is not good husband material."
"Right! So you have nothing to lose by not having sex right away."

"Okay, I see that now. I see that what I've been doing is never going to lead to marriage. I'm going to put sex on the back burner and pay more attention to caring and intimacy."

Megan completely changed her pattern with men and within a year she was engaged to be married.

About The Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding ow! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: or email her at Phone Sessions Available.

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