Revive The Spark In Your Marriage!

By: Dr Anjli Doshi-Gandhi, Deputy Director-General (Policy), National Population and Family Development Board Malaysia

Research has shown that many marriages that end in divorces can be prevented – if the couple spent more time and effort learning the easy ways to rediscover the passion and intimacy in their marriages. There is no doubt that over the years, even the most passionate of marriages can lose some fizzle, especially if a child comes into the picture. The parents may divert all their attention on the child, forgetting their spouse and their needs. This can leave a partner feeling rejected, thus creating the early ripples in a relationship. If left unnoticed, the ripple can become a big wave, drowning everything you’ve had in your marriage, leaving you with nothing at the end of the day.

Slowly losing that loving feeling in your marriage? Don’t let it slide; here is how you can keep that marriage spark alive.

Here is the thing – great relationships take work. Maintaining a healthy and happy marriage is not an easy thing. Fortunately, there are plenty of ideas to help ensure the success of your relationship. Just make sure you make the effort to try these ideas out or even add some of your own to make it personal.

Talk, Like You Used To
Communication breakdown is the first step to an unhappy marriage. Partners who have stopped talking to each other will eventually stop caring. Don’t let this happen to you. Talk to your partner about your personal, relational and family goals and dreams. Share those talks together to create a strong bond even after many years of marriage.

Go On Dates
Don’t just centre your life around the children and your career; take some time off to enjoy each other’s company like you used to! Practise the weekly date night routine. After all, you and your spouse will need this private time to talk, share and bond. Leave the children in the care of someone you trust so you can enjoy these private moments without worrying about the children. Do something you both enjoy – whether it is a walk around the neighbourhood or even dining at your favourite restaurant.

Say “I Love You”
Many times, these simple three words have been taken for granted. To bring the spark back in your relationship, rediscover the true meaning of love. Share with your partner the three things you love about him, and ask him to do the same for you. Learn to appreciate each other again. Or make that effort for the little things to show exactly how you feel. Slip a note in his work bag or send him a random text message while at work.

Stay Physical
For marriages to work, it is important to stay attracted to one another. The first thing to do is to give your partner a passionate kiss every day to revive that spark. Make it truly sensual. Before you know it, that kiss will lead to more, leaving both of you feeling instantly recharged!

Go Away – Alone
Plan weekend getaways, without the children, at least once every three months. Studies have shown that couples who take just one vacation a year will see vast improvements in their relationships. Use the vacation time to relax and revive your relationship with your partner while enjoying quality adult time. Hire a babysitter to look after your children or let them spend their time with their grandparents. Don’t feel guilty about this alone time – you definitely won’t be at ease if all you can think about are your children!