Monday, May 4, 2009

5 Ways To Raise Unspoiled Children

2:47 PM by Lilian ·
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a picutreAs a parent we often hear the phrase "I want this or I want that." For many parents being able to buy their children things that they want makes them feel successful. They want their children to be happy and to like them. Yet fulfilling your child's every desire ultimately does them no favors. They grow up believing that the world owes them and that they should get what they want when they want it, hence the growing amount of consumer debt in our nation. So, being a good parent what can you do to raise unspoiled children?

1. Teach your children the difference between wants and needs. Every child needs a pair of shoes, but they don't need a pair of popular $100 sneakers. There is no reason that your child needs a new toy every time you go to the store. Especially when they probably have a closet full that they don't play with at home. Shop with a list and if your children ask for something that is not on the list tell them, "Sorry, it's not on the list." Or your can tell them that if they want things they can ask for it for their birthday or Christmas.

2. Donate items that are not needed or played with. Teaching your children that there are people less fortunate than themselves will help them realize how lucky they are. Every year go through your child's clothes and toys and donate items that aren't used anymore. My friend says that her children often pick nicer newer toys to give to those less fortunate and she lets them because it teaches them to give.

3. Realize that your child will compare themselves to others. It is human nature to compare ourselves to others. We will always come short of some and ahead of others. Your child may want a certain toy or item or clothing because their friend has it. If the item can be justified then buy it. If not explain to your child why the purchase just isn't in the budget. Encourage your child to dream high. You may only be able to provide so much but he can work hard and achieve his dreams himself.

4. Teach your child to save and budget. Many young adults today do not know how to save or budget their money. They have never had to deny themselves of something and now that they don't have their parent's money supply they are hurting. Teaching your child to save and budget while young is a valuable skill. Growing up, we were required to save 50% of everything we earned. This trait continued to adulthood. Give your child a clothing budget every fall and then let them do the shopping themselves. Allow a monthly allowance for activities. Once it is spent don't give your child anymore. Your child will quickly realize how expensive things are and that they will need to shop around and budget their money to make it last.

5. Let your child earn rewards. In real life you don't receive something for nothing. Even to win the lottery you have to buy a ticket. So instead of just giving your child things let them earn it. My friend's sister who is in junior high really wanted a pair of Girbaud pants, the popular brand at the time. But they cost considerably more than other brands and her parent's couldn't justify the cost. So they reached an agreement if her sister earned certain grades she would get the pants.

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Anniversary Gifts said...
May 5, 2009 at 12:21 AM

Wonderful, down to earth parenting tips! It's harder than ever to instill caring values in your children with the outside world shoveling so much "it's all about me" and "buy me now" stuff as well as peer pressure to have certain toys/clothes, etc.

Sandy said...
May 8, 2009 at 3:08 AM

I think it should be mandatory that all mothers read these educational tips, because there are too many mothers I know spoiling their children, giving into their every whim or desires, without acknowledging the negative impact it has on them psychologically. Children need to learn "responsibility", "appreciation of the small things in life", "knowing what it's like to not have something", etc...

Adventurous Wench women's travel said...
May 11, 2009 at 12:59 PM

Raising a child is always a difficult task but the rewards are boundless. Kids will always follow what their parents do and how they act and react on things. We parents have to be extra conscious on these.

Thanks for sharing!

Gudang Hikmah said...
May 12, 2009 at 4:23 PM

very nice artikel,thanks for sharing

Rob Wilcox said...
June 29, 2009 at 1:19 AM

Great entry - and a topic we deal with in our soon-to-be-launched blog on family safety. Wants vs. needs is an issue that never completely resolves, but as a parent, I think I'm getting better at navigating it every year!

Självförsvarsspray said...
February 21, 2010 at 2:42 AM

Good points to consider :-) It's not easy to bring up a child in this day and age so any pointers like this are appreciated - Thanks

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