Wednesday, July 1, 2009

10 Must Do Breakup Advice

9:33 AM by Lilian ·
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If you are going through the emotional roller coaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don’t need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn’t matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain.

Yes, breaking up is hard to do. We've all gone through it, we've all cried and thought it would never end. But life does go on, and it actually gets much better!

Follow these must do 10 "breakup advice" By Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru and see a great result. Give these to your friend/s who are in this situation.

1. Be Realistic.
Don't over-exaggerate your ex's good points and under-acknowledge their bad. Do not put your ex on a pedestal!


The funny thing about being 'dumped' is that we unconsciously build up our ex's worth in our minds. We start to make them into better beings than they really are, erroneously making them to be more powerful and 'needed' influences in our lives. Unfortunately, while we are building them up to Higher Power status in our minds, they are ripping our worth to shreds in order to find the strength to leave us.

2. Accept It
Accept that the breakup did occur and that the relationship is over. By refusing to accept this you are only lengthening the grief process. You cannot keep a relationship alive in your 'head' by denying the breakup occurred, or by thing about the relationship and rehashing things over and over. Whether you accept it or not the facts still remain: You have broken up. The relationship is over. And you will be okay. I promise you!

3. Put You First
If you don't find value in you, who will? Pamper and love yourself first and foremost. This is not the time to turn your back on you, but rather a time to embrace you. God made your arms just long enough to embrace yourself. Try it. No one is looking! Go ahead and put your arms around you and give yourself a huge, cradling hug! Of all the people in your life, you are the only one that will never abandon you.

4. Write Your Thoughts Down
Start your own personal journal about your journey from your heartbreak to 'better-than-ever'. I know one man who kept a record of his breakup by posting on the Lifted Hearts break up board at http://liftedhearts.com, starting from his devastating beginning days, to his healed and in love again days, and then turned them into an awesome book of self-discovery and hope. You can find a great source made specifically for journaling through your breakup with the book, My Breakup Keepsake, found at http://mybreakupkeepsake.com.

5. Forgive Him or Her
Find forgiveness for your ex - and for yourself. It is impossible to heal without forgiveness. Understand that your ex isn't looking to hurt you, but rather looking to find his or her own happiness.

6. Accept That You Love Them
Recognize that you cannot will yourself to not love someone. You loved your ex, and perhaps you always will. Quit beating yourself up over the fact and quit trying to find the magic bullet that will slay your love. It's okay to love someone that you are not with, and may never be with, but it's not okay to try to fall out of love with someone.

7. Make a Plan
Get a goal and implement it. Plan out your new goal and start with step on, not finishing until you've accomplished the final step. This goal could be to write a book, grow a garden, change careers, go back to school, or lose twenty pounds…having a goal gives you something to focus on and work towards. It keeps you from dwelling on what was and keeps you avidly looking forward to what 'will' be.

8. Change It Up
Get rid of the same-ol'-same! Alter your routine, rearrange your home, or remodel a room. Get a new hairdo, buy a new car, volunteer at a local charity…. anything that changes your typical lifestyle can be most rewarding during a breakup. Sometimes the old and the 'familiar' can be devastatingly sad when going through the transition from two to one, so change it up!

9. Keep Yourself Clean - and You Know What I Mean!
This is not the time to turn to alcohol, drugs, or one-nights stands in a feeble attempt to kill your pain. It only adds to your problems and can end up being a permanent reminder to a temporary situation. Even simple things such as energy drinks or too much caffeine can cause anxiety or escalate out-of-hand emotions to full-blown panic attacks - which are a very common occurrence during a breakup. Learn to cope with out-of-hand emotions by spirituality, soothing music, sipping tea, taking a 'time-out', reading a book, or - my favorite - walking! I walked myself into the sexiest legs and prettiest tan during my breakup. What an added bonus that was!

10. Date Again
Don't worry about all the advice you hear about waiting to date again. Most of it's bunk. Dating again gets you out of the house, where breakup depression can fester and turn into something far worse. Dating again always restores a shattered ego, which is a very common by-product of a breakup. Dating again may also show you that there are millions of other people out there that can be as wonderful as your ex, or perhaps even more wonderful! If you open your heart back up and let new people in you will feel better.

14 comments:

fatherlyours said...
July 1, 2009 at 8:23 PM

saan ba galing mga post ? bilib na ako ha! Keep it up

Online fashion shopping said...
July 2, 2009 at 4:22 PM

Relationship psychology is very difficult subject. Thanks for the tips.

Moonstar Silverwolf said...
July 3, 2009 at 3:26 PM

These are all really good things to keep in mind. What I find interesting is that we have to be told these things when we are the one being "dumped" whereas the one "dumping" has already processed this within their head.

Stephen said...
July 3, 2009 at 5:39 PM

Very usful post. Great work

basfito said...
July 5, 2009 at 10:27 AM

Beneficial information. Thank you.
http://medicindo.blogspot.com

bluedreamer27 said...
July 5, 2009 at 1:17 PM

i agree acceptance is the best answer and learn to move on and look for a better side of your break up
it may take time to heal those wound but sooner or later everything will be okay

Missy said...
July 6, 2009 at 12:01 AM

I agree with dating again but be careful in going in to a new relationship right away. You might just be mistaken with feeling "in love" with the next guy available. Just have fun and enjoy the ride! =)

Lilian said...
July 6, 2009 at 8:22 AM

yeah missy i agree with you. We must learn from our experiences.

Just have fun and enjoy the ride...anyway the right man with come along with the right time and place...

thanks for all your comment guys...

My Children N Me said...
July 12, 2009 at 9:22 AM

Great post and thanks for the advice!

Regards,
My Children N Me

tropang_quickpick said...
August 24, 2009 at 10:52 AM

"Write your thoughts down," is really an effective way for me to recover. I am the silent type and usually I am not comfortable opening my feelings up with others. So, I agree with you that it is helpful to write it as a way of release and healing.

Get your girlfriend back said...
September 22, 2009 at 10:48 PM

Good advice, its always the simple steps that are effective. Our problems are our own responsibilty. The quicker we stop blaming others and decide where we can be better the quicker we experience better relationships, better life and a better world to live in...

get your ex husband back said...
September 24, 2009 at 11:16 PM

Sounds tips. It mysy always start with the basics and also we have to take reaponsibility for our own lives.

steven

Stop your divorce said...
October 13, 2009 at 2:45 AM

Some good points. i think we all need to take personal responsibility for every uncomfortable situation we find ourselves in.

emorroidi sintomi said...
January 21, 2010 at 10:49 PM

I think that number 5 is very important.

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